Two Knights
by sinemoras09
Summary: Collection of drabbles related to the fic, Outside Influence, where Rin resurrects Zero!Lancer. Lancer/Saber. Archer, Rin, Shirou. Fluff. Romance. Complete.
1. Spending the Night

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.

They had shifted in their sleep. While they had fallen asleep with Diarmuid holding her from behind, Saber woke to find herself sprawled on her back, one arm slung inelegantly across the bed and taking up considerably more mattress space than someone of her size should be allowed. She looked over and saw Diarmuid curled on his side, his back toward her, pushed all the way to the edge of the mattress. He must have scooted over to let her roll around unimpeded. _Poor Lancer_ , Saber thought, affectionately, and she smiled to herself. It looked uncomfortable but he was sleeping peacefully.

She cupped his body against her chest, kissing his back and letting one arm drape over his side. She was beginning to drowse again, her hand idly caressing his chest, when she felt him shift against her.

Chivalry dictated that she do the polite thing and move toward the center, guiding their bodies to a more stable position on the mattress. They rearranged themselves back into a spooning position - he the big spoon, she the little - and she felt him sigh contentedly against her neck. She would have fallen asleep again were it not for his arm, which had fallen carelessly around her waist. A normal arm with a normal breadth and length, ordinary and wholly unremarkable.

Except that it wasn't. A trick of the curse, perhaps, but Saber found herself transfixed, staring at the pale skin like porcelain, the fine, muscled lines, the strong hand with long tapered fingers that gently curled, relaxed in slumber. Even his fingernails were beautiful, long and oval, the perfect shape and size. His hand was womanly, almost, were it not for the telltale callouses on his palm.

Saber looked at her hand in comparison. Calloused palms and stubby fingers, ragged fingernails and a fine enough wrist, her hand was positively mannish in comparison. Were it not for the obvious difference in size one would most certainly mistake his hand for hers, or hers for his.

 _You are a very pretty man, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne._ She would have to remember to tease him about this in the morning.


	2. A Problem

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.

As to their nighttime activities, Archer had some words.

"Why am I stuck babysitting Emiya Shirou?"

One night was fine. Two nights, acceptable. Three nights, and Archer was ready to throw the both of them out the window.

Rin had the perfect solution. "Archer. Shirou is staying with us."

Archer looked at her flatly. "What."

"Put a futon down in the other guestroom. And wash the sheets, he's coming soon."

(Archer washed the sheets. But because he was spiteful, he purposefully did not use fabric softener.)


	3. Keeping Watch

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.

This is what happened when Archer was at Shirou's place:

Archer kept staring at him. He was sitting across from him at the table, arms crossed and glaring at him as if he could shoot lasers from his head. And maybe he could, Shirou thought, and he shifted uncomfortably. He was a Servant, who knows what he could do?

"Uh," Shirou said, and he fiddled with his chopsticks. "You don't have to stare like that."

"My Master told me to keep an eye on you. So that is what I'm doing, Emiya Shirou."

"I don't think she meant it literally," Shirou said. Archer leaned forward and widened his eyeballs.

The phone rang. Shirou yelped and ran up to grab it.

"H-hello?"

" _Emiya-kun! Is Taiga there?_ " It was Rin.

"No..." Shirou glanced at Archer, whose head had somehow creepily rotated almost 180 degrees around from where his body was facing, to continue staring at him. Like a creepy owl, Shirou thought. An angry, creepy owl.

" _Good! Tell Archer he can come back, Saber and Diarmuid are going to come over._ "

"Uh, Tohsaka-"

Archer was standing an inch away from Shirou's face. "Aggh!" Shirou said.

"Is that Rin?" Archer said.

"Can't you back up a little bit?" Shirou said. Archer grabbed the phone.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Archer said, savagely. He must have been trying to talk to her telepathically. Shirou winced and backed up a little as Tohsaka yelled at him on the phone.

" _I'm not going to answer you since all you do is complain, Archer, you're supposed to watch Emiya-kun._ "

"Rin! I do not appreciate being shuffled around for the sake of those two's sexcapades!"

"Sexcapades?" Shirou said. Archer glared at him. _If looks could kill_...

" _We already went over this, Archer, she can't do the mana transfer at Shirou's place, there's too many people, and Shirou can't leave because somebody will miss him. It's only for an hour, Archer, someone needs to make sure Shirou's safe_."

"Didn't you say you were going to kill him?" He shot Shirou another death glare.

" _THIS is why I was ignoring you, Archer, you're acting like a child! And just for that, I'm going to tell Saber to stay the night._ "

"You wouldn't-"

" _Goodbye, Archer_."

"Rin, wait-"

There was a dialtone on the phone.

Archer growled and slammed the phone on its cradle. Shirou jumped. Archer whipped around, glaring at him.

"It would be at less hassle to me if I just killed you right now," Archer said.

"Please, don't," Shirou said.

xXx

.

Archer was staring at him like a creepy serial killer, standing with his arms crossed in Shirou's bedroom.

"I can't sleep like this," Shirou said.

"That is not my problem," Archer said.

"Look, I know you're mad, but it's not my fault! Blame Tohsaka! I don't want you here, either," Shirou said.

Archer's eyes narrowed.

"And what's with this mana transfer, anyway? Everyone acts like it's such a big deal, but isn't it just like, holding hands and exchanging circuits or something? She can do that here, she can do that anywhere."

Archer stalked across the bedroom. He threw open Shirou's bottom drawer, knocked his hand across the secret panel that Shirou was one-hundred percent sure no one knew about, and yanked out the dozen or so hentai magazines Shirou used whenever he masturbated.

"That," Archer said, and he tossed them at him. "Is what happens during mana transfer."

"H-hey! Those are my-"

"Rainbow Brite lesbian futanari porn. Yes, Emiya Shirou. I am well aware."

"Oh my god," Shirou said, and he slunk into the covers. Archer sat in the corner and crossed his arms.


	4. A question

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.

"So, Saber..." Shirou said.

"Yes, Shirou?"

"Archer told me about the mana transfer, and, um, I have a question, but if it's too personal you don't have to answer."

"I will certainly try to answer it as honestly as I can," Saber said.

"Okay, good. So, um..." And Shirou shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to put it into words.

"If two girls had to do it, would one of them have to grow a penis?"

Saber blinked. "I beg your pardon?" Saber said.

"I mean! I was just thinking about it and it involves penetration, right? But what if Tohsaka had to transfer mana to you, how would that work? Like I can get when it's two guys, but if it's two girls I don't really get it and I don't want to ask Tohsaka, she'll just make fun of me," Shirou said. Saber furrowed her brow.

"I believe orgasm is the vehicle that facilitates mana transfer, Shirou, but I am not a mage, I could be mistaken," Saber said.

"Oh, okay," Shirou said. "Thank you Saber, that makes more sense."

"I am glad to have helped. In truth, there are many other ways to stimulate your lover besides penetration," Saber said. She considered, thoughtfully.

"For instance, there is cunnilingus. Digital manipulation-"

"Uh..."

"Rubbing one's pelvis against your lover's pelvis-"

"Um..."

"...mutual masturbation, clitoral stimulation, and have I mentioned cunnilingus? If you were to arrange yourself in certain positions, you could stimulate your lover while she stimulates you at the same time."

"Sixty-nine?" Shirou said, weakly. Saber nodded.

"Indeed," Saber said. Shirou squirmed uncomfortably.

Archer and Diarmuid were cleaning the bookshelves while Saber and Shirou were talking. Diarmuid glanced over them and frowned.

"The boy looks uncomfortable," Diarmuid said, in English. "I wonder what they are talking about?"

Archer listened for a moment. He smirked and crossed his arms.

"Do not be jealous, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne," Archer said. "But she is telling Shirou about Guinevere."


	5. Filling a Need

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.

The door to Diarmuid's bedroom opened and closed suddenly, and Diarmuid looked up from his book to see Saber standing in front of him. Her eyes were wild and her chest was heaving, and her face was flushed like a woman possessed.

"Pants," Saber said. Diarmuid looked up, surprised.

"Arturia, what-"

"Now," Saber said, and she shoved him against the bed.

In battle, it was difficult to take Diarmuid by surprise. His instincts were finely honed; he could see ten steps before his opponent's first strike, could counter each sudden thrust with relative ease.

In the bedroom, however, it was an entirely different matter.

He made an unmanly little squawk as Saber pushed his arms down and pinned him hard against the mattress. He couldn't defend himself, not when she straddled his hips, clawed at his shirt, and kissed him before he even knew what was happening. Eventually they broke for air and he started laughing affectionately. "What are you doing?" Diarmuid said.

Saber pulled off her blouse and yanked down his pants. "I want you," Saber said.

"Yes, I understand as much, but-

 _a-ah_." His mouth popped open as she slid down on top of him.

"Shirou has been questioning me about the mechanics of sex." She was grinning and a little breathless as she moved. "I thought I should like to practice."

"Oh." It was difficult to think, much less come up with a smart retort, when she was slapping her hips against his lap and panting into his neck, or dragging her mouth over his sternum and fisting his hair.

She came with a toneless cry, shaking and shuddering on top of him, and it was not long before he followed suit, gasping a little as he spilled inside her.

"Forgive me, Lancer, that wasn't very ladylike," Saber said, ruefully, as Diarmuid caught his breath and his heartbeat slowed to a more manageable clip. He smiled.

"I prefer the company of knights over ladies, anyway," Diarmuid said.

"Do you now?" Saber said, smiling. Her eyes were soft as she reached up to stroke his face.

They kissed gently and didn't say another word.


	6. Avalon

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.

The strike from Berserker's axe just barely missed Saber, slamming into the edge of Excalibur and nearly throwing her backwards with the force of its weight. Behind him, Diarmuid launched another attack, his red spear gleaming. It whipped through the air and sliced through the meat of Berserker's back, making the beast roar and whirl around to face him.

 _If only they had Gae Buidhe_. Saber thought of the golden spear that Diarmuid had destroyed. Rin wasn't able to restore it, and without his noble phantasm Diarmuid's attacks were simply too weak. Berserker roared and turned and it was all Diarmuid could do from getting crushed, parrying Berserker's strikes and narrowly avoiding the blow.

"Lancer! To your left!" Saber ran and swung, wildly. She dove in front of Diarmuid and took the brunt of the blow.

Above them, Archer fired air support. Arrows burst, slamming in a frisson of white flashes, but Berserker roared and took the explosion without so much as a scratch, his hair rising up with the ash from the flames.

"Arturia!"

Saber looked up, saw the axe swinging toward her.

She barely managed to block, throwing herself behind a gravestone, which exploded into pieces, bits of gravel and concrete flying in all directions. She ran but Berserker was too agile, far too fast, she did not see the kick coming, slamming into her gut and knocking her hard into the trunk of a knotted tree.

Saber blinked. Blood dripped down the side of her face. Her eyes were unsteady, unfocused. Berserker raised his axe, about to deliver the final blow.

Sparks flew from the strike of metal against metal, the pole of the red spear slamming into the edge of the axe.

"Lancer!" Saber said. Shirou was running toward her.

"Saber!" Shirou said. "Saber! Get _down_."

There was an explosion, a flash of whiteness, Archer's arrow ripping a gash through the sky.

Among the rubble, Diarmuid was lying, badly wounded. He was breathing heavily, one fist clenched against the gash on his side. Blood saturated the front of his armor as torrents of blue mana drifted from the outline of his body.

"Lancer!" Saber threw herself beside him. His eyes cracked open. He smiled.

"Saber," Diarmuid said. "You are all right."

"Save your strength, Lancer, do not speak," Saber said. She looked around for Rin.

"Rin!" Saber said. Rin ran toward them. "Lancer is badly injured. Can you heal him?"

Rin knelt beside them, fumbling with a jewel.

"It isn't working," Rin said, and Saber looked at her, agonized. "I don't have enough mana. I can't heal him."

"That cannot be - he's dying!" Saber said. Rin shook her head, pale.

"I'm sorry, Saber," Rin said. Saber started to cry.

 _Rin_.

Rin looked up. _Archer?_

 _Where is Emiya Shirou?_

 _He's standing right next to me. But Archer, Diarmuid's dying! Where are you?_

 _He has Saber's scabbard, Avalon. Use it to heal him_.

 _Huh?_

 _Avalon can heal all wounds. It should activate if you place it next to Saber_.

Shirou had Saber's scabbard, just like Archer said he would. Avalon rose, glowing softly from Shirou's chest, as Rin shakily took it and set it next to Saber.

First, the fine dust of mana started to thin, then settle, as the outline of Diarmuid's body once again turned solid. His breathing was still labored and his body was still covered with cuts and scratches, but the large gash on his side knit and sealed, and he was no longer hemorrhaging mana.

"You'll have to restore his mana," Rin said. "Emiya-kun and I will go and give you some privacy."

Saber nodded, dumbly.

Shirou and Rin walked out of the graveyard. Glancing back, Rin saw Saber press her cheek against the side of Diarmuid's forehead. She whispered something into Diarmuid's neck. He moved his head a fraction. Her eyes closed; a tear slipping. Her lips parting, finding his.

"Tohsaka," Shirou said, and Rin turned.

She didn't stop think of how Archer knew about Shirou having Avalon.


	7. Guinevere

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.

"Have I ever told you about Guinevere?" Saber said. Diarmuid shook his head.

She was sitting at the edge of the bed, naked except for the bedsheet wrapped around her. In the darkness, her hair fell loosely over her shoulders, catching the pale moonlight like a reflection in a mirror. Her eyes were distant, unfocused. As if she were looking at something very far away.

"I executed her," Saber said, quietly. "She stood among the traitors who hated Camelot. As King I could not let that stand.

A king isn't human. He is one who protects his people without the burdens of human emotions. It is the only way his decisions are righteous and just.

But I loved her, Lancer," Saber said. A tear slipped. "I loved her and I understood why she could not love me."

"Arturia," Diarmuid reached out for her. She shook her head, hugging herself.

"Do I deserve to be happy?" Saber said. "How can I? When my people died and my country fell to ruin? When I couldn't understand the hearts of those who served beneath me? How can I be happy?"

He hugged her, pulling her flush against his chest. She cried and he seemed to know exactly what she was feeling, because he gathered her close and kissed her again and again, up and down the sides of her face and by the corners of her eyes.

"I almost lost you, Lancer."

"I know."

"I'm so sorry, Lancer."

"I know."


	8. Gift

.

.

"You want me to help you pick out a gift?" Archer said. He looked at Diarmuid and crossed his arms. "Why?"

"Well, Arturia has been feeling rather down lately, and I thought perhaps a gift would help cheer her up."

"I'm not talking about that, I meant why me," Archer said.

"Well you were her Master at one point in time, I imagine you two had gotten close," Diarmuid said.

Nothing ever caught Archer off-guard. Certainly not a low luck Irish pretty boy who was standing in the middle of the foyer and talking about how Archer was Saber's Master like it was the most perfectly obvious thing in the world.

"How did you..." Archer opened his mouth, then closed it again. Diarmuid's eyes widened.

"The Lady Rin does not know, does she?"

" _Quiet_ ," Archer hissed, and he grabbed Diarmuid by the arm and walked him into the library, glancing around to make sure Rin wasn't within earshot. Even though Rin didn't speak English very well, there was still a chance she could understand just enough to know what they were saying, and Archer would be damned if she found out from Diarmuid.

"How did you know?" Archer said. "Is it because I knew about Avalon?"

"Well, that. But also because you knew where young Shirou kept his pornography."

"What."

"I heard the story, unfortunately."

Archer sighed and rubbed his head. "Do not tell Rin," Archer said.

"On my honor, I won't," Diarmuid said. "But why are you keeping it a secret?"

"I have my reasons," Archer said. "Just don't tell her. Understand?"

Diarmuid looked at him silently, and Archer thought to himself that maybe he wasn't as stupid as he thought he was. "Fine," Diarmuid said, finally. "You have my word."

"Don't tell Saber either."

"I will not."

xXx

.

They went into the city. Rin lent them a translation jewel and a list of helpful suggestions (Lingerie! Chocolate! Flowers!) along with a dark warning about staying away from too many women. "Send Archer into Victoria Secrets. If you go in there I'm pretty sure you'd get mobbed," Rin said.

The busride into the city was uneventful. They paid for the ticket, rode the bus, got dropped off at the station without any unusual incidents. Archer glanced at Diarmuid, who was covering his mole, self-consciously. Well, Archer thought. This might not be so bad, after all.

They were leaving the bus terminal when a pair of women's panties smacked Diarmuid in the face.

"Keep them!" the lady said.

Archer raised his eyebrows.

They walked down the street. One lady shrieked at them, another one swooned, and a third pulled up her shirt and flashed them. Diarmuid raised his hand to his face and quickly ducked into a store.

"I had no idea the curse was so bad," Archer said.

"Yes," Diarmuid sighed. "It would be fine if all it caused were a few lovestruck glances. Unfortunately the women of this time are much more forward."

"Let me suck your cock," the woman at the register said. Archer and Diarmuid ignored her.

"Does Saber get jealous?" Archer said, curiously.

"I don't think she notices one way or the other. The other day a woman proposed we have a threeway, and all Arturia said was that she would have to think about it."

"Huh," Archer said. They arrived at a jewelry store.

"This one seems adequate," Archer said. He was looking at a medium-sized emerald in the display case. Diarmuid frowned.

"I do not think that's Arturia's taste," Diarmuid said.

"It's large enough to hold a level 2 command spell, and probably ten hours' worth of mana," Archer said

"Ah," Diarmuid said. "You meant for the Lady Rin. You procure her jewels for her as well?"

"I trace them for her. She wouldn't be able to afford it all, otherwise."

"Trace?" Diarmuid said.

"Replicate," Archer said. "It's one of my abilities."

"Ah, that makes sense. Which is why you're able to keep your swords after you've been disarmed."

"You make it sound as though I'm disarmed a lot," Archer said, frowning. Diarmuid shrugged.

"I meant no disrespect. I only meant to say you compensate for your shortcomings admirably."

"Ho? If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were intentionally trying to provoke me. I'll just choose to believe you're simply an idiot, however."

"I want to have your babies!" someone screamed at them. Diarmuid startled. Archer sighed and rolled his eyes.

xXx

.

"It's a pity I never got to see Gae Buidhe," Archer said.

"Another weapon for your arsenal?" Diarmuid said. Archer nodded.

"A weapon that curses you with wounds that cannot heal. It seems like it'd be very useful," Archer said. Diarmuid frowned.

"Let me guess," Diarmuid said. "You would whittle away the enemy by slowly wounding them over time, correct?"

"Why Diarmuid," Archer said. "Sneak attacks are not very chivalrous. I'm surprised the thought even occurred to you."

"Just because I do not use them, doesn't mean I'm not aware."


	9. At Night

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.

She was asleep in his bed when he finally got back. Quietly he moved the covers and slid beside her, pulling her body flush against his.

"Diarmuid?"

He smiled at that - usually she called him "Lancer" - and he softly kissed her neck, quietly stroking her waist.

"Hush. Go back to sleep."

"Okay." Her voice was heavy and thick with sleep. It took but a moment before her breathing grew deep and even, falling asleep tucked against him.

She told him once that she slept better when he was there, and he knew she was not one to sleep easily. Sometimes he would wake to find her sitting at the edge of the bed, or looking out the window. At those times, he knew it was best not to say anything, just sit beside her or touch her arm, remind her that he was there.

In the morning, he woke with her face buried against his neck, her arm and leg draped carelessly over his torso. She felt warm and good and he smiled a little, shifting her close and quietly stroking her hair.


	10. Cu Chulainn

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.

They were finished fighting Caster when they heard it: the sounds of footsteps running. Archer glanced back at Diarmuid and they shared the same look. Another Servant. Archer gave chase and rounded the corner.

"Archer!" Diarmuid ran behind him. He slowed to a stop when he saw Lancer.

Archer paused. Lancer lowered his spear.

"Diarmuid Ua Duibhne?" Lancer said, slowly. Diarmuid grinned.

"Cu Chulainn," Diarmuid said.

"Oh shit!" Lancer said, and he slung his arm over Diarmuid's shoulder. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I have sworn fealty to the Lady Rin and am assisting Saber in this war," Diarmuid said.

"The little lady has two Servants? Wow," Lancer said. "But how come you only have one spear?"

"That is a rather long story," Diarmuid said. Lancer grinned and rubbed his neck.

"Yo, my Master is telling me to defeat you and all, but honestly he already used a command spell not to kill anybody and I'm kind of tired, you want to get a drink?"

"We are in the middle of a battle," Diarmuid said. He glanced at Archer, who lowered his swords and shrugged.

"Dude, lighten up. I'm buying you a beer. It's rare to see a countryman in the middle of this stupid place, y'know?"

xXx

.

They sat in a no-name bar in the middle of downtown Fuyuki, Archer and Diarmuid in civilian clothes and Lancer changing into quite possibly the most disgusting Hawaiian shirt Archer has ever seen. "For real?" Lancer was saying. Diarmuid sipped his drink while Lancer leaned forward and laughed. "Your Master made you _kill yourself_? That is seriously all kinds of fucked up, you always had the worst luck!"

"My Master was under duress," Diarmuid said.

"Your Master was a dick, seriously," Lancer said. Diarmuid sighed, quietly.

"My Master was an imperfect man, but he loved his fiancée. I only regret that my curse had to come between the two of them."

"Uh, I hate to break it to you, but they didn't sound like the happiest couple, either," Lancer said. "But speaking of couples! You're with Saber! Wow! I never would have guessed that of her! She seems kind of frigid, y'know? But I guess with that love spot you can get pretty much anybody-"

Diarmuid set his drink down loudly.

"My lady is not frigid," Diarmuid said. Beside him, Archer smirked.

"Diarmuid," Archer said. "He insulted Saber's honor. Are you going to let him get away with that?"

"No," Diarmuid rose. "I won't."

"Whoa whoa, easy there, buddy, you don't want to duel me right now," Lancer said. "You've only got one spear, you're at a handicap. And no offense, but I'm better than both of you anyway. Sit down."

"You insulted my lady," Diarmuid said. "By my honor, I will not let that stand."

"Okay! Okay! She isn't frigid! My bad!" Lancer said. "She just seemed that way because we're enemies, sit down, people are starting to stare."

Diarmuid sat, glaring at him. Lancer laughed and grinned.

"This guy!" he said to Archer. "It's really easy to get him riled up!"

"I am well aware," Archer said.

Diarmuid shot daggers at both of them and took another drink.

"So you two have fought before?" Archer said.

"Yeah," Lancer said. "He was with the Knights of Fionna and I was with the House of Ulster. We've had our battles, now and then. Except I always managed to kick his ass. Dual-wielding is just for showing off if you ask me."

"Hmph." Diarmuid sat back. "I seem to recall a time I disarmed you and let you go out of pity."

"Ha! What about that time I broke your spear?"

"I believe I still managed to get the upper hand," Diarmuid said. Lancer laughed.

"Let me tell you about this guy," Lancer said to Archer. "All the ladies wanted him. Seriously, _throwing themselves_ at him! Like, he could be rolling in women if he wanted to, but he swore a vow of celibacy! How stupid is that, right?"

"Didn't you run away with your Master's fiancée?" Archer said to Diarmuid.

"He did? Oh shit. I guess that celibacy thing didn't last very long," Lancer said.

"Can we talk about something else?" Diarmuid said. "Like how about how Cu killed that dog?"

"Okay, now we're getting personal," Lancer said.

"Cu Chulainn," Archer said. "You mean to tell us your major regret in life is killing a dog?"

"Dogs are man's best friend, okay? They're sweet animals. And I killed that one by accident."

"Would you use the Grail to bring the dog back?" Archer asked, curiously.

"Maybe." Lancer took a drink.

The bar doors opened. Saber walked in, looking around.

"There you are, Lancer," Saber said, and both Diarmuid and Cu Chulainn looked up. "I beg your pardon, I was talking to my Lancer. Rin and I were worried about you. Is everything okay?"

Diarmuid blushed a little bit at being called Saber's Lancer. The real Lancer grinned and nudged Archer in the ribs.

"Oh boy," Lancer said to Archer. "He has it bad." Archer sighed and shook his head.

"That is stating the obvious," Archer said.


	11. Command Spells

.

.

They were transferring mana again. Normally, Rin tried to give Saber and Diarmuid privacy whenever they had to do it - it was embarrassing, but Rin knew it was necessary to keep Diarmuid anchored. Sometimes she could just pretend that all they were doing was just kissing or maybe holding hands, or that transferring mana would just be sharing circuits or meditating or something. She wouldn't be able to look at either of them if she thought about it otherwise.

This time, though, she really had no choice but to make her way upstairs.

"Hey." Rin banged on their door. "Are you guys done yet?"

Rin waited. There was the sound of frantic English and a sudden surge of mana before Diarmuid opened the door.

"Yes, Lady Rin?" Diarmuid said. Rin frowned.

"Why are you wearing your armor?" Rin said. She poked her head in. "How come Saber's wearing her armor, too?"

"We, ah..."

"You guys weren't _sparring_ in here, were you?!"

"No, of course not," Diarmuid said, and he blushed. "I beg your pardon, Lady Rin, but Arturia and I, ah-"

"-We did not have time to finish getting fully dressed," Saber said, coming up behind him. Rin's eyes widened.

"Oh!" Rin said. "Sorry!"

(Somewhere in the house, she could hear Archer snicker.)

"That is quite all right," Saber said. She smiled and stepped beside Diarmuid, taking his arm. "What is it that we can help you with?"

"Uh...I need a bit of Diarmuid's blood." Rin held up a vial. "It's kind of important I get some now.

Um...you guys were done, right? Because it's kind of important I get his blood after the mana transfer is completed."

"Indeed, we have just finished," Saber said. Diarmuid blushed harder.

" _Arturia_."

"What? It is true. We had just finished." Saber was the perfect picture of innocence, her armor clinking a little as she turned to look at him. "She is a mage, Lancer. There is no need to be shy about such things."

"I suppose that is something I shall have to get used to," Diarmuid said, reddening.

"Saber. Nothing embarrasses you, does it?" Rin said, wonderingly. Saber shrugged.

They went to Rin's workroom. Diarmuid stood over the cauldron, taking a knife and slicing a shallow cut across his palm.

"Good, now just drip a little of this over here," Rin said.

"May I ask what my blood is for?" Diarmuid asked. Rin stirred the cauldron, thoughtfully.

"I'm trying to replicate command spells," Rin said. "Normally, a command spell takes mana from both Servant and Master, but since you're not really my Servant, I thought I'd try infusing some of my jewels. My mana is highest at 2 AM, which is when I collected my blood. If you were my Servant, your mana would also spike at 2 AM. But since you're not..." she stirred the pot, grinning.

"Your mana is highest right after Saber replenishes you. Which is why I was banging on your door earlier."

"Oh." Diarmuid blushed. "But...Lady Rin, if I may ask...why do you need command spells? I have already promised to serve you as faithfully as I can."

Rin frowned. "Just what do you think command spells are for?" Rin said.

"It is," he hesitated, "a means to compel a Servant to perform an action. Usually against the Servant's will."

"Huh?!" Rin stared. "What the hell kind of Master did you have before, anyway?"

"Er...my lord was a stern man whose ideas of how to win the war were different from mine." Diarmuid bowed his head. "I regret to say I was not as faithful in following him exactly to the letter. In the end, he used a command spell to force me to kill myself," Diarmuid said, and Saber stepped beside him protectively. "I would be lying to say I wasn't nervous. But I trust you completely," Diarmuid said.

"Well command spells are just more than just forcing you to do stuff," Rin said. "They're the crystallization of high magic that can overcome the limits of flesh and blood. Seriously, anyone who'd waste a command spell just to force you to do stuff isn't a proper mage."

In her head, Archer coughed, loudly. Rin turned around and glared.

She fashioned the jewels into a sort of necklace - three jewels, with corresponding jewels Rin tucked into her pocket. "So if I need to summon you, I just activate mine, and your jewel will light up," Rin said. "It also lets me keep using the translation spell without having to waste more mana. Oh...and this should probably go without saying, but I drained you pretty good. So if Saber's okay with it, um. You guys should probably-"

"Understood," Saber said, and she took Diarmuid by the arm. Diarmuid reddened.

"Arturia!" he said. Saber frowned at him.

"You heard her, Lancer, you are in a weakened state." Saber started pulling him down the hallway. "If it will take too much energy, I shall simply fellate you and-"

" _Saber!_ Oh my god! I don't need to hear this!" Rin said.

"I beg your pardon, Rin. I had forgotten you were using a translation spell," Saber said.

Somewhere in the house, Archer was laughing his ass off.


	12. A Nightmare

.

.

He wasn't completely restored.

Saber jerked awake. Beside her, Diarmuid was tossing in a fitful sleep, eyes squeezed shut and gripping the blanket. He was breathing hard and curling on his side, caught in the grips of some terrible nightmare.

"Lancer." Saber pressed her body against his back, gripping his shoulder. "Lancer!"

Diarmuid woke. He took a shaky breath, clasping her hand.

"Saber."

"Are you all right?" Saber said, and Diarmuid turned, sitting up. A thin line of blood trickled down the side of his eye.

"Oh," Diarmuid said, and he reached a shaking hand to his face. The wound on his chest was bleeding. His eyes have turned reddish black, and blood rolled down his face like tears. "I- Saber..."

She pulled him against her chest and held him. It took but a moment. Soon enough, his eyes turned clear again, and the blood that was seeping through his shirt and spreading on the blanket grew thin.

"Were you having the dream again?" Saber said. She felt Diarmuid nod and tuck his face against her chest. Some nights, he dreamt about his suicide - how he drove his spear through his chest, dying cursing everyone with his last breath - and it shook him, because in those moments it was as if he had never left. He hugged her and she kissed his forehead, rubbing his back soothingly and waiting for the remnants of the curse to subside.

Even though Rin had managed to exorcise him, he was only partially restored - sometimes, he will be standing in the kitchen, or speaking with Archer or Rin, when the wound in his chest will inexplicably open, the black curse filling his eyes and blood streaming down his face like tears. It scared Rin, the first time she saw it. "You're bleeding, Diarmuid! What the hell?!" Rin said. Diarmuid lifted a shaky hand to his eyes before he doubled over, blood gushing from his chest and soaking his T-shirt. (Archer was not amused - blood stains are difficult to clean and Diarmuid had been borrowing his clothes.)

Fortunately, Saber had been there, and all it took was a quick mana restoration session for the wounds to heal and close.

Now Diarmuid lay pressed up against Saber, his body curled against hers and holding her, tight. She kissed his forehead and stroked his hair, kissing the trail of blood that rolled down the side of his cheek. Diarmuid sighed quietly, and she felt the roiling tension in the muscles of his shoulders dissipate. The wound closed. His shirt was sticky with warm, thick blood.

"Er, shall we change the bedclothes?" Diarmuid said. Saber smiled at him, fondly pushing back a lock of hair.

"I think it best to restore your mana first," she said. She rolled him onto his back, leaning over his chest and kissing him gently. The blood on his face had started to dry; she kissed him softly and gently wiped back the trickle of blood with her thumb.


	13. A Misunderstanding

.

.

The problem, and the real reason why Archer initially had to ping pong back and forth between Rin's place and Shirou's, was that Taiga always seemed to know when Shirou snuck out. Even after Rin unilaterally decided that it would probably be best for everyone involved for Shirou just to sleep over, Shirou found he had to wait until well after midnight before he and Saber could leave the house.

Shirou was packing his overnight bag, stuffing in his pajamas and flashlight, when there was a loud clearing of the throat at the door.

"AHEM," Taiga said, and Shirou jumped, startled.

"Fuji-nee?"

"You mind telling me what you're doing, Shirou?" Taiga said.

She was using her Serious Business voice. Shirou squirmed.

"I, uh. I, uh. I uh..."

"I'm _waiting_ ," Taiga said.

"I was...going to go stargazing?"

"With an overnight bag?"

"Uh..."

Taiga stomped over, grabbed Shirou's backpack and unzipped it, dumping the contents onto Shirou's bed.

"Pajamas," Taiga said.

"Uh..."

"Flashlight," Taiga said. She fished around.

"...Futanari porn?"

"...HUH?!" Shirou said.

(Stupid freaking Archer!)

"You're sneaking out to go to Rin-chan's place, aren't you, Shirou?!" Taiga said.

"I-"

"Don't you lie to Big Sister, Emiya Shirou! You've been sneaking out every night at 1 AM, I see you all the time!" Taiga said.

"Okay!" Shirou said. "I was! But it's not what it looks like!"

Taiga frowned at him. She huffed, then crossed her arms.

"Are you safe?" Taiga said, finally.

"Wha-? Yeah, of course I'm safe," Shirou said.

"Are you using condoms?" Taiga said.

"Huh?" Shirou said.

"Con-doms," Taiga said, as if she were speaking to a very slow, very stupid child. "What are you using for birth control?"

"Birth control?! Huh?! We haven't even kissed yet! I mean-" Shirou's face burned. "Fuji-nee, I swear, nothing like that is going on!"

Taiga sighed, loudly.

"Look, I get it. Boys are gonna do what boys are gonna do. I just want to make sure no one gets pregnant while you're fooling around. C'mon," Taiga said, and she grabbed Shirou's hand.

"Fuji-nee, what-"

"We're buying condoms," Taiga said. Shirou's face burned.

She marched him to the nearest overnight convenience store, grabbing the largest pack of condoms she could find. Shirou paid for it, face red and unable to look at the clerk in the eye.

"Remember," Taiga said, and she slapped a pack of condoms in Shirou's hand. "No more sneaking around. If you want to go visit Rin-chan, just tell Big Sister. Okay?"

"Okay," Shirou said, because there was no sense in arguing. "Thanks, Fuji-nee."

She smiled at him.

"No problem."


	14. In the Open

.

.

"You know," Saber said one night, looking up at the stars thoughtfully. "We never did finish our duel."

Diarmuid glanced back at her, surprised. "We've sparred to a draw plenty of times before, Arturia."

"Mm, indeed. But I used my left hand those times." She didn't need to mention the lack of his short spear - while it didn't exactly put him at a disadvantage, Diarmuid did prefer fighting with both weapons. Having only Gae Dearg, while not a handicap, certainly did force him to make a few adjustments to his fighting style.

"What do you think, Lancer?" Saber said. "The night is right. Would you like to duel?"

Diarmuid laughed. "The question, I think, should be if you're prepared to lose?"

Saber smirked at him. "I shall repay you tenfold for that, knight," she said, and she raised her sword.

Their weapons sang, clashing through the air as each knight parried and blocked each thrust. Feet trampled the wet grass into the packed dirt, and the soft night sounds were punctuated by the occasional clang of metal striking against metal. Saber swung, stabilizing the pommel of her sword with only the fingers of her left hand, the muscles of her right arm burning with the strain. She thrust. Diarmuid blocked. She countered and swung, feet digging into the earth and twisting her body, launching into her next attack.

She shoved her shoulder against his chest, knocking him off his feet. His body landed heavily against the dirt as she landed on top of him.

She straddled his chest, the tip of her sword by his neck. She grinned down at him, victorious.

"I believe this means I've won," Saber said.

He responded by lightly tapping the tip of his spear into Saber's armpit. "Perhaps you would reconsider?" Diarmuid said. He tried not to smile.

"How did you-" Saber's eyes widened. "I knocked you over. You should have dropped your spear."

"It was rather obvious what you were about to do."

"You fell," Saber said again, and Diarmuid laughed softly, dropping his spear beside him. Saber frowned and sagged onto his chest, frowning into his neck.

"An unsatisfactory conclusion," Saber said. Diarmuid smiled and kissed her forehead.

"I rather disagree," Diarmuid said.

She wasn't wearing her armor - there was no point with Gae Dearg, not that he would intentionally wound her anyway - and he could feel the softness of her body beneath her frock as she lay on top of him. Quietly he shifted her weight so that she was leaning on his chest in a more comfortable position.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," Saber said, looking upwards. He nodded into her hair, resting his hand on her shoulder. The night was warm and the grass beneath them was soft against his skin. "I never did take the time to look at the stars."

She was thinking about her kingship again. Another sad memory. He rested his chin her hair, gently stroking her arm.

"Lancer. May I ask you something?"

"Of course," Diarmuid said. Saber sat up from his chest, folding her legs beneath her skirt.

"The night of our last duel," Saber said, and she hesitated. "You seemed troubled. I had always wondered what happened."

"Ah, that," Diarmuid said. He sat up beside her, absently picking a strand of grass and holding it between his fingers. "I had failed to protect my Master's fiancée, if you can remember. My Master was angry with me. With good reason, of course. I was careless in protecting her."

"I can see how that could trouble you," Saber said. There must have been a look on his face, because she took his hand quietly, leaning against him. "What else happened?" Saber said. He smiled sadly. She always could read him, in battle and even now.

"He said some things in the heat of his anger," Diarmuid said. The wind stirred. There was worry in her eyes as she watched him, and Diarmuid felt a slight pang as he remembered.

"He believed I incited his fiancée and seduced her. He said, I would do wonderful things like swear him eternal loyalty, then turn around and give into lust like a beast. I told him that wasn't true, that all I wanted to do was serve him loyally. But unfortunately he did not believe me."

"Oh, Lancer," Saber said. Diarmuid shook his head.

"To have the past repeated again. It wounded me worse than any blade could. But then you came," Diarmuid said, and he smiled and squeezed her hand. "You wanted to duel honorably with me. I can't tell you how much of a comfort that was, fighting you in those last moments. To fight against you with honor - it lifted my sorrows and gave me joy."

"And then you were forced to kill yourself," Saber said, and she hugged him. She pressed small kisses against his cheek and his neck and squeezed her arms around him, folding him up against her chest as if he were still hurting. He smiled into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Saber said. "I knew you were hurting, but I had no idea how much."

"Don't be," Diarmuid said. He squeezed her harder. "I am happy now. I serve the Lady Rin with honor and fight with you by my side."

Later, they made love in the bedroom, Saber sighing and closing her eyes beneath him. He kissed her gently as he moved, brushing his lips against her lips and neck and framing her face in his hands.

"I love you," she said, softly. It was the first time she'd ever said it out loud, and for a moment she looked unsure, almost afraid.

"I love you, too," he said, quietly. Tears pricked her eyes as she smiled back at him, a tear slipping down her face as he kissed her and moved gently inside her.


	15. Later that night

.

.

"Lancer! Lancer! Lancer! Lancer!"

Saber cried and threw her head back, throwing one arm backward to clutch at the headboard while the other one clawed at his back. She was practically bent in half, her legs tangled up on Diarmuid's arms and slipping from his shoulders as he leaned forward, pounding into her hard and fast, pushing up on his arms and scrabbling for purchase. The bed rocked, the mattress screamed in protest, and just when they were about to spiral into orgasm Archer accidentally opened the door.


	16. Grainne

.

.

She had a dream about Grainne.

It wasn't surprising - with the amount of mana transfer they've been doing, their connection was at least as strong as a Servant and Master's, maybe even stronger. Saber woke, eyes opening in the murky darkness, to see Diarmuid curled on his side, his back facing her. Quietly she rolled so that her chest was flush against his back, leaning into his nape and wrapping her arm around his side.

 _Run away with me_. She thought of Grainne's eyes, the desperation. How her tiny fists curled onto Diarmuid's arm.

He shifted a little, and Saber knew he was awake. No matter how quietly Saber would try to tiptoe around him, Diarmuid woke easily, remnants of a life dedicated to battle. Quietly she caressed his stomach, dropping a soft kiss on his neck and hefting him closer.

"I had a dream about Grainne," Saber said. Diarmuid startled, turning on his side to face her. He was about to speak when she smiled up at him, reassuringly. "Do not fret. We both carry the weight of our pasts. I just meant to say that it was odd," Saber said. "I was not aware our connection could extend that far."

"What did you dream about?" Diarmuid asked.

"How she begged you to run away with her. How torn you were, between your love and your loyalty. The desperation you felt when you fled, the horror and guilt when you had to fight and kill your comrades."

"All true," Diarmuid said quietly. She shifted up to look at him.

"But you know, Diarmuid," Saber said, and she felt him exhale softly at the name, "I had that dream, and I know I too would have done the same thing."

"You would?" he seemed surprised. She nodded against his chest.

"Aye," Saber said. "You believed you were rescuing her. There is more to chivalry than just blindly following your lord. One must also do what is right and honorable."

"I killed my brothers," Diarmuid said.

"They died serving their lord and you did so defending your convictions. No one was in the wrong."

She fell silent a moment. She felt Diarmuid's hand rest lightly on her nape.

"This is why you pardoned Lancelot?"

"It was," Saber said. "He had his reasons. He did so because he loved her."

"I wish you were my lord," Diarmuid said. Saber smiled.

"You do not wish that. I never knew the hearts of my men. I stood apart from them so that I could better rule. And besides," Saber said, and she laced her fingers into his. "We would certainly not be as close."

"Would it scandalize the knights of Camelot if we were?"

"Mmm. They would certainly be surprised. King Arthur could not love anyone. Why would he be fornicating with one of his trusted knights?"

"Love and fornication do not necessarily go hand in hand," Diarmuid said. Saber laughed, softly.

"I suppose not," Saber said, smiling. "But it certainly does in this case, however."


	17. Caster

.

.

They were fighting Caster again. It wasn't by the Lady Rin's orders, however - Archer had once again taken it upon himself to act independently, and it was only by chance that Diarmuid decided to follow him. He had no idea Archer was planning to breach the temple, openly mock Caster and dare her to try to kill him. "Why would you do that?" Diarmuid said.

They were backed up against a wall, ducking for cover. "Do what?" Archer said.

"Call her a witch when you knew it would goad her?"

"Because I thought I'd be fighting by myself, not having to worry about the sensibilities of a chickenshit Irishman," Archer said. Another explosion. Bits of rock fell as both men winced and ducked.

"Dammit," Archer said, and he manifested his swords. He stood up. Diarmuid shoved him back behind the wall.

"What are you doing? We are outflanked!" Diarmuid said.

"I'm going to fight her. Obviously!" Archer said.

"That is unwise! Not all of us have a death wish."

"What-" Archer stared at him. "Dammit," Archer said, and he squatted behind the wall.

"Are you done?" Caster said. She floated above them, serenely. "I shall give you five more minutes to confer amongst yourselves. You should take advantage of my generosity."

"I think I can talk her down," Diarmuid said.

"The hell are you talking about? She's a witch, she can't be reasoned with."

"She is going to kill us anyway, we may as well try!"

"You're going to use your stupid love spot, aren't you?" Archer said. Diarmuid raised his hands and stood.

"Oho. What's this? Are you signalling your surrender?" Caster said. She floated closer, smiling.

"We only wish to talk." Diarmuid held his hands up. He kicked his spear to the side, showing her.

"Talk? Oh my. But what is this? Charm magic?" Caster smiled, broadly. "You can't possibly think you can seduce me with the likes of _that_. I must say, I am rather offended."

"I cannot help this curse, lady, for I was born with it. Furthermore, I would not dare think a mage such as yourself would fall for something so banal."

"You are much wiser than your friend." Caster hovered, smiling. "But who are you? You are a Lancer-class Servant, but I have already met the Lancer of this war."

She landed gracefully onto the pavement, the wings of her cloak billowing elegantly. "Ah, what's this? Jewels around your neck? Oh, I see - these are meant to replicate command spells. You are not a true Servant."

"No," Diarmuid said. Caster's mouth stretched into a grin.

"To think that young girl summoned a false Lancer. I have to say I am impressed - even though you are in an incomplete state." Caster looked at him, thoughtfully. "What is it that you want, False Lancer? Surely it isn't to protest my use of the citizens of this town?"

"No," Diarmuid said. "It is regrettable, but you clearly do not have your own source of mana."

Caster's grin slipped a notch. Archer's eyes widened, looking to Diarmuid back to Caster, then back to Diarmuid again.

"The hell are you saying?" Archer said.

Diarmuid glanced back at Archer, then looked back at Caster, fully. "From one incomplete Servant to another, I can say it is very clear your Master is not a true mage. I know because I am acquainted with another Servant such as yourself. But while you have the means to bolster your stores, she unfortunately cannot."

"You have a good eye, False Lancer. But surely you cannot abide by me feeding on the innocent?"

"I consider myself to be a good judge of character, lady, and I daresay you are not one to waste lives carelessly."

The answer seemed to surprise her. "No," Caster said, quietly. "I am not."

Archer widened his eyes at Diarmuid. _You better know what you're doing._ Diarmuid glanced at him quickly, then looked back at Caster.

"You said you had the means to end this war. Is this true?" Diarmuid said. Caster nodded.

"I do. My considerable efforts are toward what comes after."

Diarmuid smiled. "You wish to stay by your Master, don't you?"

Archer's eyes widened more. _You're talking out of your ass now, aren't you?_

"How do you know that?" Caster said. Diarmuid smiled.

"I consider myself somewhat of an expert." He touched his mole, knowingly. "While I do not agree with your methods, lady, I know you mean no ill intent. There haven't been any fatalities as of late. You've perfected your methods, haven't you?"

"I have," Caster said. "Seventeen seconds is the most I take from each person's lifespan. But it is enough to sustain myself and all the other Servants, if need be. That so many died early on is quite regrettable.

But let's cut to the chase, shall we? What exactly is it that you want?"

"An alliance," Diarmuid said, and Archer's eyes practically popped out of his head.

"What?" Archer said. Diarmuid motioned for him to keep quiet.

"An alliance?" Caster said. "You come on your Master's behalf?"

"No, lady. But once she hears your reasoning, I believe she would be glad to have a powerful mage such as yourself as an ally."

"Pretty words, to be sure, but how will this benefit me?" Caster said. Diarmuid spread his hands.

"Numbers," Diarmuid said. "The Lady Rin has not one, but three Servants at her disposal."

"Oh?"

"Myself and her Servant Archer, as well as the Saber-class Servant through an alliance with the young boy you met awhile ago."

"Are you _nuts_?" Archer said, in English. Diarmuid waved at him to stay quiet.

"Hm," Caster said. "And with myself and Assassin, we would have superiority in numbers. I take it, False Lancer, that you are friendly with the Lancer-class Servant as well?"

"I am indeed, lady, although I am not acquainted with his Master," Diarmuid said. Caster paused, thoughtfully.

"A girl who is able to summon a false Servant is indeed worthy of my interest," Caster said. "Very well. I shall hear her terms."

"You're kidding," Archer said. Diarmuid held up a hand.

"Unfortunately, lady, we acted outside our Master's purview. She might be...surprised...to see you."

"That is quite all right," Caster said. She pushed back her hood.

"A healthy dose of suspicion is the earmark of a fine mage, after all."

xXx

.

 _Rin. You are not going to believe this._

 _What is it, Archer?_

 _Diarmuid negotiated an alliance with Caster_.

 _HUH?!_

 _I know. Try not to act too surprised, she is on her way to discuss terms._

 _What?! Terms?! What do you mean, terms?!_

 _I don't know, Rin, but we are at your door._

There was a knock. Rin jumped, running to the foyer. Dammit, Rin thought. She fingered a jewel, nervously. Dammit, dammit, dammit! She muttered a quick spell and opened the door.

Caster was standing at the front, Diarmuid and Archer flanking her sides. She wasn't wearing her hood.

"This is your stronghold?" Caster said. She looked around, smiling. "My, but this is rather disappointing. It would be very easy to breach these fields. But perhaps you are relying on your two Servants to protect you instead?"

"Uh," Rin said. Caster stepped forward, shrugging off her cloak and taking off her shoes.

"I don't suppose you wouldn't mind having one of your Servants make tea?"

Rin shot Archer a look. He sighed and moved around them, heading toward the kitchen.

Caster sprawled elegantly on the couch. Somehow she didn't seem nearly as intimidating without the hood. She stood across from Caster, warily.

"So...my Lancer suggested an alliance?" Rin said.

"Mm, indeed. I must say, I was rather surprised to see you had summoned him. That does take a considerable amount of skill, you should be quite proud of yourself. That he is in an incomplete state is neither here nor there.

By the way," Caster said. "If you are planning on attacking me with that pathetic jewel, there's not nearly enough mana in there to hurt me, let alone leave a scratch. I suggest you put that thing away before I get offended."

Rin cursed under her breath and tucked the jewel back into her pocket. Caster laughed, amused.

"I should like to help you, Tohsaka Rin," Caster said, smiling. "You seem to be a young girl of considerable talent. I should like to take you under my tutelage. Studying under the mages of this time would do you a grave disservice, after all."

"Why would I want to study under you?" Rin said. "You're feeding off of innocent lives, you're mistaken if you think I want anything to do with you!"

"You are mistaken, Lady Rin." It was the first time Diarmuid spoke. He was kneeling by the couch, eyes trained on the floor. "The Lady Caster has no other source of mana. She does what she does out of necessity."

"Necessity?" Rin said. Caster smiled.

"A regrettable one, but I can assure you I have perfected my techniques. I can take what I need with minimal impact on this city's populace."

Archer stepped in, carrying a tray of tea and looking like he really, _really_ would rather be manifesting his swords. Caster sighed, loudly.

"That spot is annoying me," Caster said, motioning to Diarmuid. "I assume you left it as is on purpose?"

"What?" Rin glanced back at Diarmuid. "I-no, I mean-"

"I see." Caster sighed and flicked her fingers.

"Ah!" Caster said, smiling. " _Much_ better!"

"Wait, what-" Rin's eyes widened.

The curse, the thing that was radiating off of Diarmuid's mole, was suddenly gone. Even Diarmuid seemed shocked, reaching up to touch his mole with a shaky hand.

Rin started, "How did you-"

"Child, you clearly are in need of proper instruction." Caster frowned. "It was simply a matter of overlaying another curse on top of the existing one. Instead of falling in love, I cursed him so that any woman who looks upon him would be physically repulsed. The two curses negate themselves, you see."

"Oh." It seemed so simple, Rin wished she thought of that herself. Caster smiled.

"Now that we can think clearly," Caster said, smiling. "Allow me to restore your False Lancer, as an act of good faith."

"Huh?" Rin said, and Caster flicked her hand again. Diarmuid's short spear dropped from somewhere above them, clattering on the ground.

"Gae Buidhe." There was a touch of awe in Diarmuid's voice as he took it in his hand.

"Do not look so shocked," Caster said to Rin, smiling.

"Nothing is impossible for a mage such as myself."


	18. A Curse

.

.

"Hustle up, Diarmuid. We're going into town."

Diarmuid shifted from spirit form, wearing his armor instead of civilian clothes, kneeling in front of her.

"Uh, you don't have to do that," Rin said, frowning.

"Ah, forgive me. It is a rather old habit." He stood up from the kneeling position, rising to his full height. "May I ask why we are going to town?"

"I want to double check that your curse has been lifted," Rin said. Behind her, Caster sighed, loudly.

"Of _course_ it is lifted," Caster said, loftily. She was lounging on the couch, perusing a magazine and nibbling on a piece of chocolate she had found in the kitchen. "But go into the city if it will assuage your doubts. I will have to warn you, however, that it is a school day and you are truant. No doubt my Master will be marking this on your record."

Rin rolled her eyes. Caster had taken to staying at Rin's place whenever her Master was at school ("I get bored at the temple and this place seems rather amusing," Caster said, by way of explanation), and now she found herself hosting not three, but four Servants at a time. "A pity I cannot take Assassin," Caster said. She examined her toes and magically conjured a bottle of pink nail polish, which she uncapped, delicately. "But one does have to acknowledge one's limitations, from time to time."

They rode the bus, Diarmuid materialized and in civilian clothes while Rin stared at the dorsum of her hand. The command spells for Diarmuid manifested as a series of ornate arrows beneath the command spells for Archer, making her hand look like she had a very angular, very tribal flower tattoo. "Cool tat," someone said. Rin covered her hand self-consciously.

Rin felt tired. It was one thing to supply mana to one Servant - and an Archer-class one at that, whose mana consumption was on the low-end of things - but having to supply mana for two Servants was a considerable strain. She felt like she had pulled an all-nighter and then ran a half-marathon afterwards.

 _Forgive me, Lady Rin. I shall try to conserve my mana usage as best I can._

Rin startled, still not used to having a telepathic connection to Diarmuid as well. _Don't worry, Diarmuid. It's not a problem_.

They walked out of the bus station. Rin pointed to a woman standing in the street. "Go ask her for directions," Rin said. "It's the perfect opportunity. We'll check to see if she can understand you, first of all, and then if the curse is still in effect."

Diarmuid nodded, then walked toward the woman. Rin watched as Diarmuid pulled out a map and asked her something, ostensibly a lost foreigner with a good grasp of Japanese. The woman pointed on the map, then gestured to the street. Diarmuid smiled and thanked her, walking back to Rin.

"So?" Rin said. Diarmuid grinned broadly.

"She understood me. And she did not find me attractive in the slightest."

"I hope you didn't actually ask her that," Rin said.

They walked around a little more, Rin sending Diarmuid to a few shops here in there, to gauge people's reactions. No one batted an eye. Except for the fact that he was European, no one really seemed to care one way or the other. Rin had never seen anyone look so happy about being ignored.

xXx

.

He hadn't seen Arturia since the curse had been lifted. "Caster?" Saber had said, when Rin explained it to her. Her eyes had widened a little, her face grew just a shade more pale, and after that she had refused to come over.

"I don't see why she is so afraid of me," Caster said, offended. "I only wish to study her and get a better grasp of her form."

"You spied on her in the bathroom, I'm pretty sure you're creeping her out," Rin said.

"Tsk," Caster said. "I cannot help myself. Your Saber is a walking porcelain doll."

In spirit form, Diarmuid hovered, restlessly. He was unused to not sleeping, and the steady stream of mana being supplied to him also meant he had more time to think and worry needlessly. His curse was gone, and even though Saber had high magical resistance, that wasn't to say the curse didn't affect her as well.

She was getting undressed. Diarmuid watched quietly as Saber unpinned her hair from its bun, falling in unkempt strands over her shoulders. He hovered behind her, uncertainly.

"Arturia?"

"Yes, Lancer?"

"May I ask you something? And you promise you'll answer, truthfully?"

"Of course," Saber said. Diarmuid sat carefully on the bed, hesitating.

"Do you still love me?" he asked.

"What?" Saber said.

"If you do not, I understand-"

"Of course I love you! Did I do something to make you believe otherwise?" Saber said.

"No, it's just-" Diarmuid blinked. "Arturia. My curse was lifted."

"It was?"

"You couldn't tell?" Diarmuid looked at her, incredulously.

"Oh," Saber said. She smiled, ruefully. "In truth, I hadn't noticed."

"Really?"

"In point of fact, you are still as ridiculously handsome and bewitching as ever. If we were to meet on the battlefield, I am fairly certain I would be at a considerable disadvantage."

Diarmuid sighed. "Now you are teasing me," he said. Saber smiled at him, playfully.

"On my honor, I am not. It is taking all of my willpower not to mount you here and now!"

"I suppose I was foolish for having worried, then. But Arturia, this worries me - could it be that you want me only for my body?"

"Well it is a very nice body," Saber said. "Although I will admit, I do not mind the man that comes with it, as well."


End file.
